In Part 2 of this episode, we have THREE more stories about how our storytellers are finding community during the pandemic.

Our first story is from Adam Wade, author of the bestselling Audible Original You Ought to Know Adam Wade. In his story, Adam prepares to celebrate his birthday alone during the pandemic.

Our second story comes to us from one of our online story slams! In this story, Amy Segal forms an attachment to a crow she sees on her daily walks during lockdown.

Our final story of “Community,” is from Eve Alvarez, a doula, mom, and social entrepreneur. Overwhelmed with responsibilities during the pandemic, Eve Alvarez seizes the opportunity to march for black lives with her teenage son.

Stay tuned for our next episode, “Clarity,” on Friday!

Story Transcript

Story 1: Adam Wade

My name is Adam Wade and I am originally from New Hampshire, and I've been living down in New Jersey, in New York City area for like 22 years. And, you know, my birthday's May 22nd and I'm always celebrating down here. And it's usually with my friends and we usually do fun things. We'll go to the Mets game. You know, we'll take a little ferry around Manhattan. It's fine. I'm a simple guy. I'm not looking for extravagant things. It's not a big party or parade. You know, Adam Wade parade. It's just with a bunch of friends. But I enjoy it. I like simple pleasures. But this year was a lot different. And May 22nd, 2020, I had been going on like two months of living alone in my apartment and not going out much. Pretty much right before everything really hit hard, I got a couple granny carts. I have a granny cart -- I don't have a car -- and I filled it up with food from the supermarket. So just like ramen noodles, rice, and beans, you know. So just a lot of a lot of basic things. But I mean, you know, a couple of months I was having that. And as far as exercise, I live above like an elderly Italian lady and her backyard is probably like 10 yards by 10 yards. And it's cement. And there's no flowers. It's like -- it's literally a graveyard without bodies, I believe, and without flowers.

So it's like almost like a prison yard. It's the most depressing thing. It's a very depressing thing. So during these two months, definitely depressed, definitely feeling frustrated, scared, lonely. And I was starting to get cranky. And on my birthday it was a very cranky -- it was a cranky morning. It was a cranky morning. And my mom called and my parents are in New Hampshire and they called me from the Dunkin Donuts parking lot. And 10 a.m. Dunkin Donuts coffee run, that's typically their thing. And they'll sit in the senior center and watch everybody else go through the drive-thru. That's the excitement of their day typically, prior to COVID. But since COVID, they were very scared. They've still been doing this. Instead of getting coffee at Dunkin Donuts, they make it at home, put it in a thermos, bring their mugs, go across to the senior center and watch people go to Dunkin Donuts. So then, like they said, it's normalcy to them just to be there and drinking coffee and watching people. But they're not going, you know. They want to play it safe.

So so I answer the phone, my mom's like, "Adam, what are you doing? Happy birthday."

I go, "Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it." I'm just trying to be low-key about it, you know?

And she's like, "What are you going to do for yourself?"

I go, "I'm just going to be here. I'm just going to do what I do, you know."

She said, "You got to go to the supermarket today."

I'm like, "Ah, Mom, the supermarket?"

She's like, "Put your mask on, you go to the supermarket, you get some salmon and cook it on the Foreman Grill. We made an investment. We spent $25. We want you to cook it on the Foreman Grill."

"OK, Mom, I will. I will.”

She's like, "No more ramen noodles."

Like, "OK, Mom, OK, I love you."

So I get off the phone and now this is huge. I mean, I haven't really left my area, so I start walking down the street. I got my mask on, I'm heading to the supermarket, and I go by Court Street. Now Court Street is my favorite restaurant in Hoboken. I Haven't been there, you know, since everything's locked down, and I miss it. I'm kind of like... I don't want to brag, but I'm kind of a big deal at Court Street. There's a picture of me above the bathroom next to Norm from Cheers. They have like a framed picture of me next to the bathroom. So come on, what does that equal? Pretty, pretty popular guy. Pretty popular guy. So even walking by is a little depressing.

So Dan opens the door. Now, Dan's the owner of the place. He's got his little, you know, his e-cigarette in his mouth and he's got his Brooklyn Dodgers hat and he's like, "Hey, Adam, happy birthday." And I'm shocked. I'm shocked that he said happy birthday to me because I know he's known for not being on social media. So it's like something he remembered. So that kind of... I was like, "Wow, that's very nice of you."

He was like, "Where are you going?"

I go, "I'm going to go get a piece of salmon, you know, for my birthday. I'm going to cook."

And he's like, "Oh, that's good. Well, you know, when you come back from the supermarket, come by and knock on the on the restaurant door, OK?"

"OK, Dan, I love you. Thanks." You know. But I know in my mind it's like giving me the guilt trip, wishing me happy birthday. But I don't want to knock. I don't want to talk to anybody. I just really, you know... I'm cranky. So I leave. I go, "I'll be back." He's like, "Make sure, OK?" "Sure, Dan." So I go to Hoboken supermarket and I'm not going to mention the name. Not nice. Not nice. Five-dollar, five-dollar salmon. I always get the five-dollar. It's eight bucks. It's the same salmon. Shame on you. Shame on you, Hoboken supermarket, jacking up the prices. But I get it because it's my birthday. If it wasn't my birthday, I'd probably storm out of there. But I get it because it's my birthday. I'm walking. I'm going back by Court Street. I'm like, "All right."

So I knock on the door and now it's Dan — they have masks, I want to be clear — it's Dan and Theresa. Theresa is the dessert chef there. And she's the best — like, you know, Hoboken. They say Cake Boss. Forget the Cake Boss. Hoboken, go to Court Street. You know, I tell you, they got great chicken parm. They got great chicken Francese, say, but the desserts, it's like unbelievable, this woman. I always get a big smile. "Adam, Adam, I love you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday." She's wearing this, like, multicolored sweater that she got when she was visiting her family in Mexico. Her husband works there, Marton, shout out to Marton. Great turkey club he makes. He's the best Turkey club maker. And they're just... It's a wonderful family. So she's very happy to see me. She's waving. I'm waving. I can't see the smile because the mask, like, you know, you can tell by the eyes now. You're looking in those eyes and the eyes...

So I'm like, "All right, thank you."

And she's like, "No, stop."

"I got to get going. I got salmon in my bag. I got salmon in my bag." You know, you don't leave out salmon, you've got it put it in the refrigerator.

She's like, "No, before you leave, just wait one minute."

And I'm like, "OK, what, what?"

And she's got this package and it's something wrapped in a paper bag. And she comes and we do the six-foot distance. It's crazy. We're in this cobblestone road. She places it down and then she backs up. And then I lean over and I open it up and it's this plastic tin and it says, "Happy birthday, Adam" on top of it in a magic marker. And it's a ADAMMMM. And you know what that means -- "Mmmm," you know?

And so I just like, open it up a little just to take a look in, peek in. And it's a piece of cheesecake, not a huge piece. Not Cheesecake Factory-esque. They're smart. It's just big enough. You know, it's not minuscule. It's big enough, perfect size, with a little tin of, like, strawberry lotion... Not lotion. Strawberry juice, like to pour on top of it. So I'm so happy. And, you know, I'm not... I don't hug them, but I like, I give them kind of like a a virtual hug and they virtual hug back, and it's just really, really sweet. It meant so much.

So I go home and that night, big, big dinner. Get the get the Foreman Grill ready. Get that plugged in ready to go. Start microwaving my rice. I start microwaving my beans. I start microwaving my vegetables. I'm a bachelor. That's how I cook. But in my years, like 22 years here, like I've perfected that. I'm pretty good, I'm pretty good. So by the time everything's microwaved and ready to go, the salmon comes out. A little well done. Little well done. I mean, I like it, but it is a little well done, so I mix everything and it's wonderful. Then you know what I do right after that. I pop two Lactaid pills, two Lactaid pills. I know what I got to do. I don't know what you got to do. I know what I got to do. I got cheesecake. I got lactose intolerance to a degree now as I get older, so I pop those. I give it a little time, drink a full glass of water, eight ounces, ready to go. Start eating. And it's like fireworks.

It's like fireworks in my head, you know. Like when you when you kiss someone that you love that you haven't kissed in a long time. That's me with this cheesecake and you know... I'm extremely grateful for this day, and it's not the perfect birthday. But it's something I'll always remember, and it's something I'll always keep close to my heart.

Story 2: Amy Segal

I am that person who writes to random strangers. Well, not random strangers -- accomplished strangers, strangers who write for The New York Times or give TED talks. And when it comes to my response rate, my stats are not great, as in not a lot of people write me back, but this somehow doesn't deter me. And last May, there was an article in The New York Times by an ornithologist, who is somebody who studies birds, and it was called "Seven Tips for Watching Birds During the Spring Lockdown."

Now, I am not a bird watcher, but I had been watching a bird. And I met him in March and one of my first daily walks during the lockdown and he was perched on top of a streetlight next to the park. And from a distance, I thought he was a hawk because he was quite large. But as I approached, I realized that he was just a crow and I was kind of disappointed in this. But as the weeks passed, I grew fond of him because he was there every day surveying his kingdom or flying around. And one day he swooped down just above my head and I decided he was saying hello because we had known each other for nearly two months by then.

And on a day after that article appeared in The Times, I set out on my walk, turned the corner, and saw him lying in the street dead. And I froze and then I found myself saying out loud, "Why did you have to go into the street?" And I wanted to give him some sort of a proper burial, but I wasn't sure if it was safe to touch him and there was traffic coming.

So as I'm standing there trying to figure out what to do, I looked up because above me were two crows caw-cawing incessantly in a super high pitch. And I had never seen my crow with any other crow before. And so I wondered if they were friends because they seemed to be truly mourning. And because I don't know anything about the social behavior of crows, I wrote to that ornithologist when I got home because I wanted to take some solace in knowing that he wasn't alone. And I told him what happened. And I said, "Do you think they were friends?" Now, based on my track record, I wasn't expecting to hear back, but a few days later he replied and said, "What a sad story. And yes, crows are very social and very intelligent. I definitely think those crows were flockmates and recognize that their 'friend'"--which he put in quotes--"was dead. The best help I can offer is to point you to a blog by a researcher who has spent a lot of time on this question." And I clicked on the link that he attached and it took me to a blog called "What Are Crows Thinking When They See Death?"

And the first line was, "I'm actually not going to be able to answer this question for you, but I'm closer than I've ever been because they are now doing neuroimaging on crows' brains." And in the past, they were able only to rely on observational data. So they know that crows acknowledge their dead and do things like alarm calling, which is what I witnessed, where they call incessantly for 15 to 30 minutes. And they know that crows have been known to hold funerals, as in they'll take twigs in their beaks and drop them one by one on a dead crow's body. And the researcher said that in the past, when they wanted to look inside of a crow's brain, they would do surgery, which is often lethal. But now they can inject a crow with a short-lived radioactive compound, create a stimulus of, say, a recording of a bunch of wild crows in a cornfield in Iowa, cawing and eating. And when the crow in the lab responds to that stimulus, the radioactive compound accumulates in the part of the crow's brain that is most active and stays there for long enough for them to sedate the crow, put it under a PET scan -- as in the same PET scan that they use on humans and see which parts of the brain are lit up -- and they're starting to map regions of these crows' brains that might represent fear or memory or reasoning.

And they say that it doesn't hurt the crow because they're using a short-acting tracer that flushes out of their system. It's actually the same thing they use on humans when they send us through PET scans. And when the crow wakes up, he's released back into the wild. So I started to follow this researcher's blog. And since then, I've reached out to two other accomplished strangers, both of whom have written me back.

So that makes me three for three in a very short period of time. I know it's because people have extra time on their hands these days, but I'll take it because it's a huge improvement to my stats. Now, I wouldn't say that I have three new friends, but I like to refer to them as my flockmates.

Story 3: Eve Alvarez

I'm waking up and the cool thing about our new bedroom is that we don't have any curtains in the bedroom. I live in the Bronx and I get to look over at Harlem. And, typically, on any sunny morning, the first thing that I see are the clouds in the sky, which I really enjoy.

This particular day I'm looking at the clouds in the sky and then I'm also listening because my mom is in the next room and sometimes she likes to kind of get up and walk around and touch things and they can end up anywhere. They can end up broken. They can end up on the floor. And they can also end up in her diaper. That is her secret hiding place so I'm always listening to hear.

I'm also thinking about all the things that have happened that particular week because it is a Saturday today and I know that, a) I want to take my son to what I consider to be his first official rally. I'm feeling really excited about that. I'm also thinking about the fact that in the last week my mom has lost two siblings and that we have not been able, due to COVID, to celebrate them, to honor their lives in our cultural norms.

Another really, really good friend of mine had lost his mom and so we've been doing a series of Zoom funerals which are tremendously heartbreaking and difficult and have taken quite a bit out of me.

On top of everything else, in order to get to this rally in protest, I can't take my mom because, a) my mom is 80-something, b) she has Alzheimer’s, c) she's afraid of steps and I live on a fourth floor walk-up. That means that in order for me to make all of this work, I have to then get my partner to be helpful.

And even though he typically is helpful, we're also in the middle of a fight. And I don't know about y'all but when you are having a fight with your partner, the last thing you want, at least the last thing I want to do is to position myself to be like, “Yeah, I need you to do something.” I'm the type of person that I'm like, “No, I don't need your help. Thank you.” Which is completely different than the way that I operate most days.

So that particular day I'm thinking about all of these things that are just happening and I'm exhausted. So eventually, I don't hear anything. I get up. I make some coffee, some tea for my mom, a little toast and breakfast, and get her ready for the day. So that means showering. That means diaper change, figuring out what's in the diaper because you don't ever know what's going to be in the diaper. Seriously, I have found thread, earrings, remotes. Especially the remotes. Somehow they get up in there so it's definitely a difficult thing.

You know, at a certain point of the day, I'm thinking, “Okay, we're going to go to this rally protest. My son is getting ready.”

I'm actually surprised even by that because he's 15 and he's spent the last couple months in his room and kind of not wanting to do much and saying like, “Ma, we're not supposed to go outside.” So for him to be ready to go to this is a big deal.

But there's a really important hiccup which is that I haven't confirmed with my partner what it is that he's going to be doing for the day and if he’d mind staying with my mom. So I finally have to like I guess bite my tongue and swallow whatever frustration I have and just kind of say like, “Oh, so what are you doing today?” Like fine.

And he's just like, “Nothing.” Like, “Why?” Because he's not even upset. It's me.

And I'm like, “Well, about my mom. I was wondering if you could just watch her for a little while I take Sam to the rally.”

And he's just like, “Yeah, no problem.”

And I was almost angry that it went that easily, because you know when you just almost want something to happen so that you can continue to feel angry and then all of a sudden you're like, “Just that's it? You're just going to be nice when I wasn't even ready to be nice to you? Fine.”

So my son and I start… he's already half ready. I'm starting to get ready. I'm making sure that my mom is okay, so by this point I had already changed her. I'm changing myself. Then I realized, wow, what is a rally if you can't bring your cool posters?

So I managed to cut up some boxes and put some markers in my purse. I was like we're already running late so what we're going to do is make them on the train.

So we get on the train, which is my first time, my son's first time on the train in months so I was already pretty creeped out. Like I'm sitting on the edge of the seat looking around, trying to social distance, and really excited.

What was exciting, though, was that on the on the way to the train station there were a couple of people that were like, “Oh, y'all going to the protest? All right!”

And I felt like one of the cool kids. I was like, “Yeah, we are going to the protest.” Yay! You're recognizing us.

So we get on the train and my son and I are doing… we're making our signs. I'm trying to switch colors. I'm making it cool because that's just what I do. We finally get off. We get off the train and we walk over to Washington Square Park.

And I don't know what I was thinking, but whatever I was thinking was completely different than what it was. There were thousands upon thousands of people. Literally, every inch of that park was packed that particular day for this rally. We had masks on and everything, but I was just like, “Wow, there's no social distancing here. And people are super excited.”

That both got me like super hyped but also really scared. I was just like, “Oh, snap. I've been watching this on TV for the last couple months and so this is another level.

So we're getting there and the speakers are super activated and motivated and we're holding up our signs. All of a sudden, it's like the sky opened up and it's all this rain that is coming down. It was so bad we had to use our carefully crafted posters as umbrellas for a little while. All I could do was look up and see all the streaks of the markers that were coming off because it was raining.

But you know what? To my utter awe and amazement and surprise, no one moved. The people were still there in the middle of the rain and they were just listening with fists held up and clapping and supporting and saying everybody's names. That was a powerful moment.

So eventually we left for a little while. As the sun comes back out, we left for a little while, came back to get something to eat. And we come back to the park because I wanted my son to see this is an all-day thing. Like these are commitments that people are making. Social justice is a commitment. It's a lifestyle.

So we end up leaving because I was like, “Oh, snap. You know what? We have to go get my mom.”

By this point, it's been a couple of hours. I'm recognizing that she might need to have her diaper changed and there might be a remote in her diaper like I told you before, so being ready for that.

And by this point I'm starting to notice, oh, my goodness, my phone is at like 15% completely just about on its last leg. But I also look up and coming down, I think it was University, like coming down University is another group of people that are like in a march. They're in a protest.

And I'm telling my son like, “You know what? This is a rally that we just left. This is a protest. I want you to experience that march so let's join them for a little bit until the train station and then we'll be able to just get on the train and go back uptown.”

So we cross, we get to that first corner where the train station was and my son is like, “No, come on, Mom. We got to continue. We got to continue.”

Then on the next street, all of a sudden, I look over and they stop. The march stops and people start taking a knee. And I was like, “What the hell is this? I'm too old for this. I can't be getting up and down.”

And my son looks at me. He's like, “Ma, come on. You're embarrassing me. Like come on. Just get down.”

And I'm like how difficult is this. So he ends up folding his poster that he had made, his sign and he's like, “Just kneel on this. I'm going to help you. I'm going to help you.”

And I was like, “Okay. Okay.” And I was really like that old person in the sea of young people that was really struggling to even get down. I'm wobbly. After a few minutes, they get back up and they continue to march.

And there are all these memorable places, memorable pieces seeing all the stores that had… they were boarded up in the front. There were groups of people that were saging people. Was it on Lafayette Street or something. And it's just like, wow. Like, “Yeah, sage me, sis. I need all that. I need all good energy.”

So there were tons of people that were there and literally, for as far as my eyes can see, I see people in the protest in the march. That was really, really powerful. Even the drivers were patient because you have to wait for all of these people to pass by and it's literally thousands of people that are passing by. So even they were patient.

If you've ever been a driver or you've driven in New York City, you already know that New York City drivers are completely impatient and so that was pretty awesome.

So we keep marching, we keep marching, and by this point it has really hit me that I have worn the absolutely incorrect shoe gear. I have on Converse sneakers and Converse sneakers are not the shoes to wear to anybody's march protest rally. Nothing.

And we're still walking, we're still walking, so finally we're walking, we're protesting, my fists are up, I'm loud, we're holding up our signs and we get to what I think is the end of the protest, which is by Brooklyn Bridge.

So I'm thinking like, “Oh, this is amazing.” Like we did it. I went to high-five my son. We're stepping into the into the street when all of a sudden someone who I guess is one of the leaders of the protest is like, “No, miss, we're not done. Come on. We’re turning this way.”

I was like, “What the hell you mean we ain't done?” And my son is like, “Ma, come on.”

By this point I'm looking at my phone. It's at 4%. I quickly send a text to my partner like, “Look, I'm at 4%. We’re in this march protest. Sam, being my son, he's activated and he's energized about it so I really want to continue. I hope y'all are okay. If y'all not okay, we'll figure it out.”

So we keep going and we eventually get to the end of the protest, the official end of the protest which was by the world trades… well, I guess it's like by the PATH Train. Then all of a sudden somebody comes with a speaker and they start playing Pop Smoke and people are like dancing up a storm and I both am in awe and also in pain because by this point my knees and my feet are like no mas. Go home.

I look over at my son and he's 15 and he's just excited. He has just participated in something and I know I can see the pride in his face. I'm just excited for him and excited for me. I'm feeling like, yes, mom achievement level unlocked. Like I did this, right? I introduced you to this.

But then we also still have to go home because I'm still having to deal with a partner that potentially could be angry at me now for telling him that I was going to be back at 4:00 or 5:00 and by this point it's going on 7:30 so we're not going to be home before 8:00.

And also a mom I don't know what I'm going to find, depending on what she's eaten or hasn't eaten or whether she spent time by herself, what she's been able to hide, so I'm a little bit… actually, by a little bit I mean a lot of bit nervous about that too.

So we get on the train and almost immediately I am exhausted, like I want to pass out. My phone is dead by this point. I can't even play like a little distracting game. I just kind of close my eyes and I wake up, my son is like, “Come on. We're here. This is our station.”

So we walk over and by this point my feet hurt so bad. I'm so tired. I'm just tired, like I don't even have anything else left in me. I was walking slowly but I'm also like walking with some level of urgency because I don't know what I'm going to find when I get up, when I get to my mom.

It's like when you're dealing with somebody who uses a diaper, the diaper could be dry, the diaper could not be dry, and the last thing that you want to do after walking, what I discovered with 22,000 steps, shout-out to my Fitbit, is to have to spend like another 15 or 20 minutes fighting somebody to take her diaper off, having to change. Again, I don't know what's going to be in the diaper. Sometimes it's nothing. Sometimes it's batteries and earrings and watches and whatever little things you leave on the table. So I'm really hoping that this particular day is the day that she's going to be cooperative.

And that she's not like starving. It's just a lot of things, because I also want a moment to debrief with my son. I want a moment to reconnect with my partner. I want a moment to just sit with myself and be like, wow. What I saw today was really amazing and powerful.

So I'm walking slowly up the stairs, kind of one of those like in dread. Like, “Oh, my goodness. I don't know what I'm going to find.” This deep sigh, right? And we get upstairs and they just both say, “Hi.”

They're sitting on the sofa. The sun is setting and my mom looks absolutely just really beautiful and regal sitting on the sofa. She's drinking lemonade, chilling. Completely chilling.

My partner's like, “Oh, I made chicken in the crock pot.” That's his specialty, crock pot chicken.

And my son kind of goes back into his room and he's like, “Mom, I’m so tired.” But of course as a 15-year-old goes, he heats himself up a hot pocket while the chicken in the crock pot is cooking.

I kind of just sit there in awe. I was just like, “Okay, so everything is cool? You mean everything is cool? Like we were able to actually get this all done?”

And I started to realize how many times, at least for myself, like how many times I've actually taken a moment to… I end up feeling so worried about things all the time as a caregiver that you don't often get a moment to just sit with the gratitude and sit with the idea that it doesn't just take one person to make these things work but that it takes many people. And that you're part of… you're a small cog in a big machine but I'm also really grateful to be that.

It was just an overall exhausting day but it was also a really, really good day. My son was really excited and got his social justice warrior on. I was excited. My mom was chilling. My partner was cool. So definitely grateful in a season that has taken a lot from us. Just grateful for what you have and what is.