Vanessa Vakharia faces her first day as student teacher of a math class.

Vanessa Vakharia is the founder and director of The Math Guru, a super cool boutique math & science tutoring studio in Toronto. She has her Bachelor's of Commerce, Teaching Degree, Diploma in Graphic Design and Master's in Math Education. She specializes in teenage engagement in mathematics education, with a focus on encouraging young women to pursue STEM related fields as well as reinventing media representations of females as they intersect with math. She travels globally engaging audiences with her workshop, “Imagining a World Where Kim Kardashian Loves Math,” encouraging teenagers, teachers, and EVERYONE to re-interpret and re-invent traditional stereotypes of what it means to be a “math person.” She is also a founding member of Goodnight, Sunrise, a rock n roll band where she plays the keytar and belts lead vocals. Yes, she totally wants to be a rock star, who wouldn’t?  Mindy Kaling is her idol and Vanessa believes that she should be yours too.

This story originally aired on Jan. 5, 2018, in an episode titled “Math Problems”.

Story Transcript

I want to kind of preface this by saying it’s so funny because the past two stories have really been about the passion behind science, about, like just as Dan said, science hops in when we’re enthused about it, when we really foster it.  Like when you think about the next generation, we have to get people invested in science, we have to show them it’s important, and we have to be enthusiastic about it.  That’s why my story is about my first day of math class, because that is the language behind science. 

This is my first day of math class not as a student but as a student teacher.  I’m going to start by saying, first of all, I failed grade-eleven math twice.  So I sucked at math.  I hated math.  I was uninspired.  I totally was not into this whole, “Oh, my God.  Science.  Everything’s great.”  I was like, “I wanna be an actress and marry Keanu Reeves.  Get me the fuck out of here.”  That was my thought. 

So anyways, years later, though, after an amazing teacher that inspired me after all these amazing experiences, after people helping me prove to myself that I could do something I never thought I could do, a.k.a. solve a quadratic equation, there I was, my first day of math class. 

So I’m a student teacher and I walk down the hall of the school and I basically have the air of a B-list celeb.  I’m like, “I’m gonna change the world.  Like all these kids don’t even know what’s gonna hit them.” 

And then you know that smell, like the school smell of like gross varnishy balls and all the like gum the kids have stuck under the tables.  Eww, gross.  I’m like, “Yeah, okay.  Right now it smells like that, but when I’m done here it’s going to smell like vanilla and spice and cigarette smoke.  This place is gonna be cool.” 

So I walk into the math department and I’m like, “Okay, I’m ready.  I’m ready to meet my student teacher.  I’m ready to meet the head of the math department.”  And there he is, Mr. Nellman, this old Russian man.  He has like tufts of gray hair sticking out of his ears and he smells like smoke.  Spoiler alert, I found out later he actually used to smoke cigarettes, stick the butts in his pocket and then put the pants in the laundry for his wife to do.  This guy was just gross. 

Anyway, it’s fine.  I wouldn’t hate on him so much if this didn’t happen. 

So I’m like, “Hi.  Hello.  My name is Vanessa.  I’m your new favorite math teacher.” 

And he looks at me and he's like, “What’s a pretty girl like you doing being math teacher?” 

And I’m like, “What the f---?  Like, is this 1942?  Is this happening?  Whatever.  That’s fine.  Another thing I’m gonna change.” 

I’m like, “I’m ready to meet my student teacher.  I’m ready to meet my mentor.”

For those of you who don’t know anything about student teaching, whatever, you're a teacher.  I’m in teacher’s college.  The whole point of being a student teacher is you have a mentor that’s your classroom mentor.  And, I know, shocking!  They mentor you.  They're supposed to mentor you and you follow them around and you learn from them and it’s this whole symbiotic experience and it’s so great and you learn how to plan lessons…

Well, Mr. Gana, my mentor, is a rugby teacher turned French math teacher.  I’m going to do a lot of side rants because I just don’t understand how this happens when there are so many qualified math teachers without jobs.  But there he is, super enthused guy.  Like really into it.  Doesn’t know shit about math or science.  Nothing. 

So I’m like, “Hey, I’m your student teacher.” 

He's like, “Oh, my God.  This is so perfect.”  Perfect because he has a rugby game to coach. 

So day one, we’re supposed to go into the classroom and I’m going to observe him teach.  Instead what happens is we go in the classroom and he's like, “Hi, guys.  This is… sorry, what’s your name, miss?” 

And I’m like, “I’m Ms. Vakharia.  You can call me Ms. V.”

He's like, “This is Ms. V.  She's gonna be your teacher for two months.  I gotta go,” and leaves.  Like he's out.  And I’m like, “All right.” 

Other side note.  The day of my first placement, this day when I’m student teaching, is April 20th.  It is 4/20.  It is the national day for celebrating marijuana consumption.  That is the day I’m in the classroom for the first time.  That will become very relevant later. 

So I’m there, he leaves, there are thirty-five kids because, obviously, classrooms are completely ridiculously overstocked with children.  And I’m like, “Uh, all right.” 

Thankfully, there's like a few girls in the front who are really down with the fact that Mr. Gana is no longer there because they're enthused about learning, and I’m a female that looks kind of young and kind of cool. 

So they're like, “Wait, what?” And they're like, “We have a test on completing the square tomorrow.” 

I don't know who remembers this.  Completing the square is the worst fucking thing ever.  It is the worst especially if you're taught it by a teacher who doesn’t know any math. 

So I figure out what they're doing and I’m like, “All right.  We’re gonna learn completing the square.  But first I’m gonna give you this really great pep talk and you're all gonna love me.”  So I’m like, “Hi, guys.  I’m Ms. V.  Don’t worry.  Like, I failed math twice.  I totally get it.” 

So five kids are like, “Okay.  All right.  I’m down.  I see what’s going on here.”  The rest of the kids… and this is what I don’t… it’s not that I have a bad memory.  I swear, just think about our math classes.  Were they like this?  It’s literally like a fucking zoo in there.  Like everyone’s talking, like they're doing stuff.  I’m like, “Why is there so much noise?” 

I’m standing, I’m teaching a lesson, so I’m trying to teach and like… so the five girls are like, “Oh, my God.  This is so much better than what Mr. Gana did.  This is great.” 

And I’m like, “Okay.  Great, great,” but there's like so much noise.  So I keep being like, “Guys, I’m teaching.  I’m teaching a le-… do you mind just… can you be quiet?” 

So they'll kind of look at me like, “What the fuck is she on?”  They quiet down for like two minutes and then keep going.  I’m just confused. 

Then all of a sudden, every time I turn around from the lesson, some of them are gone.  They're just not there anymore.  I’m like, “Where did they go?  Are they in the bathroom?  I don't know but I don't have time to think about this.  I have forty-five minutes. I need to teach a lesson and I don't even know what’s happening.” 

So finally it got to the point that these girls in the front are into learning and I’m feeling that I’m teaching them something, like I’m doing it.  I’m the change I wish to see in the world.  It’s all happening, but no one can hear me.  Finally, I’m literally whining at these kids. 

I’m like, “Guys, honestly.  I’m standing here and I’m trying to teach and like just can you imagine if you were here and you were trying to teach and no one was listening?  Like it’s so pathetic.” 

I was thinking in this moment, I’m like, “Oh, my God.  I get it.” 

You know, I’m sure we all have the math teacher that you're like, “Ugh, why are you teaching me?  You don’t even wanna be her?  Like get another job.” 

No.  This is why they're like this.  This is why they're like this.  It’s because they want to get up there and they want to teach you how to factor, like they are ready to do it.  But instead you know what they're doing?  They're being like, “Be quiet,” “Don’t go to the bathroom,” “Stop smoking weed,” “I don't even know what you're doing,” they're so stressed out.  I see how it all happens in their minds. 

Finally, this girl at the front who I will equate to like the Plastics in Mean Girls, literally gets up, she turns around and she goes, “Guys, leave Ms. V alone!  She is so much better than Mr. Gana so shut the fuck up, you assholes.” 

I’m like, “Oh, my God.” 

Okay, number one, since when can kids just swear in classrooms like this?  Why is this like okay?  But, number two, I’m like, yeah.  Fuck, right?  Like I fucking won this.  I’m a part of the cool girl… like all my high school dreams of being cool once and for all are happening right now, like twenty years later. 

So I’m like, “All right.  I’m in.”  So I’m in.  Whatever with the swearing.  I don't even know if going to the office is still a thing.  I guess not.  Like you could just swear now.  So I have twenty minutes left and I’m like, “All right, let’s finish this off.” 

The problem is now everyone is down.  They think I’m cool but they're like too down.  That’s when I get hit by the first flying joint.  I said a flying joint because… and I remember his name, Brian, who was definitely high out of his fucking mind, had like rolled up little pieces of paper into joint formation and was hurling them at my head. 

I’m like, “Okay, I’m just gonna keep… okay, factor the three out.”  Like we’re fine.  But he could not contain himself and the guys think it’s the funniest thing ever. 

So finally Brian is like, “Miss, miss, are you going to the Marijuana March?”  

And I’m like, “I’m just gonna keep factoring.  Like whatever.”  And I’m thinking, also, like, “Brian, you dumbass, like number one, if I was going to the Marijuana March, which I obviously am, like I’m not gonna tell you.  And number two, I’m not gonna say no because that’s so beta.  That makes me look… like what kind of response do you even think you're eliciting, you dumb, sixteen year old.”  That’s really actually damaging to my job right now.  I think you're all very intelligent. 

So I think, like I hope in my memory the story goes that I was like, “Brian, even if I was going to the Marijuana March, I wouldn’t tell you I was.”  End of story.  Not sure if that happened but in my mind that’s what happened. 

So I keep teaching, whatever.  We kill it.  End of day, bell rings.  I’m like, “Oh, my God.”  Honestly, I’m feeling so cool.  I tell those girls in the front that we’re like a squad now.  I didn’t use the word “squad” because it’s like cool now, it wasn’t cool then at all, but I said something and I was like I've totally made it. 

All the guys kind of give me a nod, like ten of them are missing from the class.  Like whatever.  It’s fine. 

I leave.  I’m strutting down the hall, like go outside.  I’m like, “All right, I got this.”  I see Brian.  His face is so red.  He's smoking a joint.  I just look at him like I’m-not-really-looking-at-you-but-I’m-looking-at-you, whatever.  And I finish my first day of class. 

It’s kind of crazy.  Mr. Gana, in case you're wondering, he never came back, ever.  Except one time he came back because I wanted to do the quadratic formula song, like “x equals negative b,” and it was just like a whole song, and he got really excited about it because showing up with like a lighter and his guitar.  It was way more in his wheelhouse than teaching math.  So he showed up for that.

But yeah, so end of the semester or end of my two months I told these kids, I’m like, “Wow, I’m peacing out to India and I’m gonna be tutoring for a few months.  If you guys want some help…” Every single kid in that class called me, literally.

Fast forward until like a year later and I have a tutoring company.  I ended up having to hire twenty tutors.  I feel like it’s the craziest thing because all I wanted to do was give these kids a real actual chance to love math.  Mr. Gana, God bless the guy, couldn’t do that. 

It’s really scary to look at the education system.  I know we’re talking about it a lot and it’s in the news a lot but math and science are amazing, but you have to have someone to show you that.  If they’re not going to do that, there's no hope in hell. 

So it was incredible.  I’m now friends with all of these kids.  I have drinks with them and coffee.  I never smoke weed with them.  Not yet.  It’s not legal yet.  At the end of the day, I really was the change I wished to be.  Like, honestly, these kids were and they will be too.  Thank you so much.